ProjectInvictus.com

December 20, 2013

000

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 05:05

I should have specified in my previous post that those were goals of where I want to be at when I get into the rhythm. As always, compliance is the only way to get this to work.

I know this from personal experience, considering I’ve been physically ill more times this Fall/Winter than ever before. It’s a combination of poor nutrition, poor sleep, poor everything.

In a hail mary pass to reset my sleep schedule, I’ve been up for quite a bit longer than 24 hours. It’s fine as long as you are caffeinated, but when you inevitably crash you experience lapses in short-term memory and an overall unpleasant, surreal affect that can make your irritable.

Luckily, I was brimming with motivation so I scheduled a date for after my activities.

At around 20:00, I hit a brick wall and could not go any farther. I wanted to go home and just pass out in my bed. But I knew that was out of the question. I was going on this date not to get it over with, but in fact, to do it under fatigue and resistance. I was going to do it to proactively build state.

I watched this:

She was at some job training thing until too long, and I was just sitting in my chair at the library with my eyes closed, trying to meditate but just falling asleep. I let myself take a few micronaps before I woke up gripping my backpack and phone to check if they were stolen and if this girl had texted me yet.

We agreed to meet at an okay bar, and it was a very mediocre date. She was coughing, so that rules out sex or at least making out. I’ve fucked girls who were sick and while sick before, but did I mention this shit was mediocre? I re-energized immediately into the date, and just kept building state. She said some stupid things that further rule her out in my book. Granted, we were both awake for >24 hrs. at the time of our date, so I should give her a little credit for being as crazy as I am when it comes to not flaking on dates. She mentioned being hungry but I cut it short because I wanted to go home and sleep. She said that we should hang out again soon. We will. She had a great ass and nice tits.

December 19, 2013

Conquering of the Mind

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 07:20
Tags: , , , , , , ,

alexander

“Do not throw away the hero in your soul, hold holy your highest hope.”

I will now be updating every week. My priority right now is to be a learning machine.

~Wake~

Hour one: eat cereal and meditate on subway ride to gym

Hour two: run HIIT for 10/15/20m (progressively loading), stretch, foamroll

Hour three: eat larger meal, drink tea, break (which means I fuck around and don’t do anything – essential cog in this master plan to work)

Hour four: drink caffeinated beverage. do warm-ups for the brain – do mental math, simple memorization games (state capitals, geography, etc), crossword puzzle, dual n-back tests, etc. These sound boring but are easy flow state activities that are productive

Hour five: read New Yorker – I have 6-mo. back issues because I’m a lazy fucker. meditate for 25m on concentration using this app called mindfulness on my phone.

Hour six to Hour nine: Drink perhaps second caffeinated beverage, or do a line in the bathroom. study. this means really study – get away from the computer, insert ear-plugs, turn OFF the phone, get in a cubicle and force yourself to study. If I am bored with the earplugs (not really a fan), I will listen to white noise or binaural beats (dat broscience tho). This has taken me fucking months to get myself to do. After searching endlessly for a quick and simple way to study, I find the only way to do it is the old school way of sitting down and fucking doing the work. If you were a studious child (read: immigrant) growing up, you can tap into that level of immersion. If you weren’t, read War of Art. This takes disciplineThere’s no way around this one. It’s the price you pay for greatness.

Hour ten: this is a tough hour. Right after you’re studying you’re jumping out of your seat to get as far away from that painful-as-fuck experience as possible. I will certainly be fucking around for this hour. However, I will attempt to hold it out for another 20m to do a relaxation meditation from the mindfulness app.

Hour eleven: Lift; not bulking right now, so will be doing high volume low weight to only build CNS control

Hour twelve: eat large meal, drink tea, break

Hour thirteen: read novel or non-fiction non-related to studying. This is my reading list. 

Hour fourteen: listen to TTC audio lectures – these are god-tier. This is my listening list.

Hour fifteen to Hour sixteen: go on date, socialize, win(e)d down and thoroughly enjoy life. Sometimes this involves getting high and listening to an album, or watching a film. I’m currently really into this: A Story of Film: An Odyssey

Hour seventeen:  drink valerian root tea, deep foam roll, stare hypnotically at inspiring artwork so it slowly enters my subconscious, bask underneat a red lamp, bodyscan meditation on mindfulness app which has the rare quality of putting me right to sleep

~Sleep~

In the upcoming months, more time will be devoted to my studies. My goal of transitioning from 3 hrs./day to 6 hrs./day to 9 hrs./day will be more seamless if I am replacing a similarly brain-engaging activity.

In order to be a learning machine, I have to keep my brain in tip-top shape. My diet and nutrition needs to be right. I need to be getting all of the micronutrients. I will be experimenting with nootropics like huperzine A, piracetam, oxiracetam, aniracetam, choline, and a lot of B vitamins.

I will also keep a running list of things that inspire me that I can go to to recharge. One of these things is walking into Barnes and Noble or the Met. I get a headrush.

December 10, 2013

OKC Primer

I’ve been busy the past few months with a lot of heavy shit, so I have a bit of a backlog,

backlog

but to paraphrase Philip Brooks:

 “O, do not pray for an easy life. Pray to be a stronger man!”

So, without further ado, here is the OKC Primer.

invictus okc primer

Step 1: Sign up for A-list.

A-list costs anywhere from $5-15/mo., depending on how many months you buy in advance. It may be costly depending on your budget, but it is a price I highly recommend you to pay for unbeatable results.

Why?

It lets you do various important things. You have a 5000 message inbox. While this may seem like a lot, this includes both messages you receive as well as send. Since volume is the most important part of online dating, all of the game you’ve learned up to this point is all for naught if you don’t actually get to meet the girl in real life. You may not fill your 5000 message inbox anytime soon, but you will definitely fill the 300 message inbox the free account allots you.

In addition to this, you also have more filters you can use to find matches. This is very important if you want quality matches. Particularly, the ability to filter results by their attractiveness rating and body-type. Here is an example:

criterion collection

Step 2: Answer Match Questions Honestly

You have to accept two things. One, you will inevitably meet girls. Don’t fear scarcity. You will meet girls – a lot of girls. But you aren’t going to have success if you aren’t compatible with them. I don’t mean all of that arbitrary idiosyncrasy shit that rom-com’s harp on when it comes to finding your “soul-mate”, which is a bullshit notion of which you should eradicate all traces of in your head. I mean you aren’t going to bring your A-game to a date with a girl who hates gay people or who is just an idiot.*

*But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go on dates with girls who may be incompatible with you. At the very least, you will gain reference experience and sharpen your saw. This got me through a date with a gross, landwhale who reeked of cigarettes and body odor when I naively, but “for science”, used the blind date feature for a date I set up at a venue I already was at for a different date.

How many questions should I answer?

You should answer enough to have a maximum of at least 95%. I think my maximum match% is 96% with someone, and I answered about 260 questions. They’re primarily questions about sex and dating, because the rest are arbitrary and useless (but occasionally fun). A lot of girls join specifically for the questions so you will see girls who are on their 3000th question. Don’t do this.

I sort my matches by match%. Once you’ve set your filters for what you’re looking for in terms of age, body type, rating, height, race, etc. You’ve pretty much gotten rid of any girl who you’d find physically unattractive. So the next filter is naturally her personality. I message every girl down the list until I get to 79-69%. It’s a pretty good indicator of first-date success, and girls really do pay attention to match%.

Step 3: Show Your Best Self

You can use the handy “my best face” feature to have a crowd-sourced straw-poll of which pictures of yours are the best. I don’t always agree with them, but I’ve used the same photos multiple times over a couple of months and their scores have been consistent so I think it’s a good objective indicator of which pictures to use.

But they aren’t that important.

Having exceptionally good pictures will get you a couple of things, like girls who initiate by either quickmatch, visiting you, or sending you a message.

But if you are reading this, you are the type of person who is proactive so you will be taking the initiative at all times anyway. So don’t worry too much about how pretty you look.

As for the content of your profile. Style over substance. You aren’t displaying your resume or bio-data. If you are a professional, don’t be afraid to mention it at risk of seeming too vanilla. But don’t rely on it. You are there to show them how amazing you are, not to tell them.

Don’t worry too much about the content of your profile either. Different things work for different people. I can’t write anyone else’s profile. I can critique them, however. Avoid being wordy, and avoid explaining yourself. Simply display yourself, unabashed. You will be tweaking your profile in bits and pieces over the course of however long you continue doing this. The best profile is developed in a piece-meal fashion. 

Just like your best self.

Step 4: Develop a Good Opener(s), and Send; repeat ad infinitum

Once you’ve done all of the previous steps, this is all you have to do.

The meat of online dating is simply volume. In fact, it can be argued that that’s the heart of the game – every game. Simply gain reference experience. It is crucial to ingrain in yourself an abundance mentality. What more simple way to do this than to have actual abundance.

Get to the matches page. Go down the list, hold control (or middle click), and click on every profile that comes up until you get to the lower matches. Like I said in step 2, they will all be pre-selected as attractive (if they aren’t, adjust your filters) so you don’ t even have to look at their thumbnails. You should have a bunch of windows with profiles opened, and from there just click “send message”, ctrl+v, hit “send”, ctrl+w, and repeat.

Don’t read their profile at this stage. Only read their profile once they have responded and you can get a better idea for who you are going to meet. But at this stage, most will not message you back so it is pointless to know everything about them if they aren’t going to message you.

Some people disagree with this method and prefer to read their profiles and generate a customized opener for them.

This simply does not work. It may work a few times and you may have had success with it, but these times are exceptions to the rule and cannot be sound advice to those who want results. You can only get better with women, you can’t get better with a woman.

You can find your perceived “soul-mate” and actually be truly compatible with her and generate the perfect opener hitting on all of the key elements of her profile to find out what moves her existentially

and she may just think you’re too ugly, or brown.*

*has happened to me many times. Nothing you can do, on to the next one.

The battle between generic opener and personalized opener has been fought, and generic won ever since the industrial revolution and the idea of interchangeable parts. Don’t be a fool, be a spambot. 

With that said, have a good fucking opener. Don’t say stupid shit like “hi i’m james” or “you’re pretty.” Luckily, online dating is the next stage of natural selection where intelligence, wit, and wordplay become the language of interaction. People always ask me for an example of an opener, and when I’ve divulged this information I’ve had people literally use my opener verbatim and it’s lead to repercussions I do not want to repeat.*

*My profile was banned because so many others started using the same opener and I was considered to be just another spambot. If you are the only one using the opener, you can spam as much as you want without getting banned. It’s pretty important not to be banned when you have paid for the account.

But here is an example of a now-retired opener I’ve had an immense amount of success with this past summer:

“i just stared at your profile for 30m trying to figure out how to get you to say “take me now, daddy” and this is the most i’ve had to work for a girl.”

It was very effective. It was also very polarizing. It doesn’t have to be polarizing. My opener now isn’t polarizing at all and works well. Your openers will also be piece-meal, so just let your creativity surge and try different things out. I think it’s good to have a couple that you use, I know Gab likes to use 2-3. I like to just use one as a diamond drill-bit and minimize time between sending messages.

Step 5: Meet her IRL ASAP

Some of these girls will respond to your opener. Congratulations, the hard part is over as your foot is in the door. You’ve piqued her curiosity and separated yourself from the vast chaff that her inbox is full of. She’s most likely viewed your profile, and has put together an idea of who you are and already knows more about you than if she responded to you at a bar because you can’t really ignore people in real life as easily as you can online.

She will respond with something, depending on the type of opener you sent. You can (but don’t have to) respond directly to her response, but don’t spend too much time on messages. Online dating is just a way to IRL date when you can’t IRL date (like as a study break, or night cap at the end of your day. You shouldn’t be spending all of your time on this). Go for logistics ASAP. For the second message (your response to her response to your opener, aka the second message you send the same girl) get logistics down. I ask her her name and where she lives. I ask this regardless of whether she mentioned her name in her profile, and regardless of the location that is visibly set on her profile. You want her to introduce herself and tell you herself. Plus, if she lives in Brooklyn for example, I ask where in Brooklyn. You want to meet girls close to you, and you should know what neighborhood they live in to make this as smooth as possible when you pick a place to get drinks with her.

I go for the IRL meet-up on my second or third message, and rarely send any more than that. You don’t want to meet girls who don’t intend to meet anyone, and if she hesitates at all then you should move on to the next one. There’s a match question that you should set mandatory, and it’s the one that asks “How willing are you to meet someone from OKC in real life?” and it should be “Very willing!” You joined to meet people, don’t waste any time with people who want to be pen-pals or some shit. Like I said, you have complete abundance so move on whenever you want. This should be smooth.

When I go for the IRL meetup, I pretty much say this.

“Let’s get drinks, I’m 555-555-5555. text me your name”

You will be good with any variation of this, but I like to use these specific words for a few reasons.

“Let’s get …” is better than “Do you want to get … ?” 

Tonality. You don’t want your tone to lilt upwards, which question marks do. You are not not seeking rapport.

“I’m 555-555-5555” is better than “what is your number?”

Tonality again, but also shows how comfortable you are with giving your number and moving directly to phone communication  (text game is also simply logistics – you go for the IRL meetup at all times).

“text me your name”* is god-tier. It is a compliance building step, which is crucial to game. You must have her invest in you. She has to take that extra step to meet you. You are a person with whom she will schedule a time to meet, and expend energy to look good for and mentally prepare to enjoy her time with. It’s emotional investment. It isn’t important if you just want a date, but it is important if you want a successful date – and later, a successful relationship if that is what you want.

*There is one side-effect of this. Once you start getting good at this, you will have a bunch of texts from girls who just tell you their name and you will have no idea which profile they are. There is a reason I call this a “side-effect” and not a “drawback”, because you have already filtered girls in such a way that all of them will be both physically attractive to you and compatible with you personality-wise. You also should not waste your time reading their profiles. This is something you absolutely can do. I just don’t want you to psyche yourself out by spending an excessive amount of time endlessly reading their profile. You should bring your A-game to every single one of these dates, so it shouldn’t matter. If you are worried about asking them things that they already mentioned on their profiles, don’t be. It’s fucking weird to show up to a date knowing everything about the person and citing specific details from their profile. Don’t suck the excitement out of meeting a pretty girl for a first date. Treat it as a new experience, and genuinely wonder what she’s like. First dates are one of my favorite things to do. Like opening, I like it better than sex.*

*I do love sex though.

Also, once you get to the point where pretty girls are texting you throughout the day you are as abundant as a pretty girl who is being texted by guys throughout the day. A pretty girl’s text inbox is like our email inboxes. It’s flooded with shit all the time. Think about what that does to your sense of self-worth and entitlement. You want that. It’s a trip. It’s abundance.

Once you meet her IRL, that’s where online dating game ends and real life game begins. 

I dedicate this primer to Nelson Mandela who recited William E. Henley’s poem Invictus to himself everyday during his 27 year imprisonment, as well as to other prisoners. Invictus is latin for “Unconquerable”, and Mr. Mandela was empowered by its message of self-mastery. Goodnight, sweet prince.

mandelaahnold

November 30, 2013

hero of your own story

My dad was picking me up for Thanksgiving. He is not a patient man, so I threw everything indiscriminately into my bag and left my apartment to get into his car. Only when I got to my parent’s house did I realize I forgot my laptop (but packed my laptop charger), my coat (but packed two different types of caps), my iPad with all my books in it (but my iPad charger), and most importantly my fucking keys.

I’ve locked myself out before. Rather, my neighbor locked herself out of her apartment one morning. It was right after I fucked Rapunzel this past summer, and I slyly slipped a credit card and metrocard in and unlocked the door for her. It took a minute, and she was dumbfounded by my Neal Caffrey-like Macguyverism.

Yet I spent a half hour trying to do the same for my own apartment, and for the love of GOD, I could not get in. I wasn’t being patient, I was actually frustrated and tired, and I used all of the cards in my wallet – many of which were lodged in, damaged, and rendered unswipeable.

It reminded me of synthesizing organic compounds in organic chemistry. Our professor would always tell us: “Don’t thrash!” He meant, while you must understand that time is running out, you will never find the correct synthesis by just mixing and matching reactions willy-nilly. You have to do it systematically. 

So I stopped. Breathed. I used a thin card to scan where the actual lock mechanism was, and then I pushed against it with my final card. My hands were chapped and cracking from the cold (26-33F + no jacket), but grit and adrenaline was forcing me to go for broke.

This word choice is ironically apropos, since the cards were now broken and lodged inside the door.  Yes, I failed. 

I had to make a trip to the office, lugging all of my stuff, without the jacket,and without a metrocard so I was on foot. My phone had 2% battery life left in it, so I had to do this without listening to Kanye. I eventually got a spare key, while being completely bewildered by all of the beautiful hasidic jewish women in the area. Wow. I opened one instantly on the elevator, and looking into her vibrant eyes rejuvenated me. Maybe this can be a new sarge spot?

Anyway, I finally got home. Warmth. Bathroom. Computer. My new headphones arrived, which I have to break in using brown noise.

So what’s the point of this post? The point of this post is that you aren’t a total fuck up. I have been fucking things up in due form my entire life and especially lately. It can be very discouraging. One day you pick a lock with supreme confidence and finesse, the next day you are blindly pushing credit cards into a crack and wish you had a welding torch because this door is being a fucker. 

Truth is, I have been under giga-tons of stress lately. This year has really tested me. I will elaborate in December, but these things that you think you have overcame or that didn’t bother you before, come back in full force in something as simple as being unable to pick a lock. Everything snowballs. I’m cold, I’m carrying heavy shit, my toenail just broke and I am bleeding through my socks, I’m sweating and it’s 5 degrees below freezing outside.

What can I do in the future? Prepare better, right? Of course, but that isn’t the point of this post. The point of this post is that you aren’t a complete fuck up. The point of this post is that you fuck things up, but that is just life, you fail and fail and then you succeed. You learn. In order to learn, you have to get rid of the ego. You have to “suck today’s dick.”  Sure there are people who are awesome at everything, most of these people are my heroes, and most of these people are also fictional.

Joe Rogan says it best in this short video. You can’t devalue yourself from your fuckups. That isn’t you. You can be the hero. You can be that person today. You can be the hero of your own story.

November 27, 2013

post

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 10:59
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

It’s about time I make a post.

Last week was my first solid week of studying in three years. My goal was to study for 3 hours a day, Monday-Friday. By Thursday, I had been clocking in at 6 hours. I came home imagining nothing but 12 hour study days starting Monday. My steadily boiling body temperature had other plans, however.

Saturday and Sunday are my break days. These are also the days I tutor. Coincidentally, I tutor in a neighborhood that is far away from where I live but in which two of my girlfriends live so I stay over their place on these days and spend time with them.

However, since I was getting sick I chose to go home this past Saturday. I made some soup, and downloaded The Lost World: Jurassic Park, but decided to do some low-intensity OKC trawlin’ for fun.

didnteveninviteher

I didn’t even invite her.

But she’s pretty, 19, and skinny. To be perfectly honest, I like all of those things she talked about. I swallowed some tylenol flu and cold in addition to the multiple 1g vit-C tablets I had been munching on and had her over.

As of today, I’m still a bit sick. It’s 10:55am, and I am only home because I’m waiting for my Etymotic in-ear monitors to arrive. I have to be home the moment it ships or else it will be stolen, because I live in a shitty neighborhood with shitty neighbors.

Then, it’s off to suck today’s dick.

October 26, 2013

performance

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 06:15
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve been operating at an extremely high level this past month.

Trauma affects everyone differently. I have had recent traumas happen to me and to a loved one. I have had traumas happen to me early in life.

They were painful. A level of pain that I would not wish upon my worst enemy.

Except you never know how you will react to trauma. It can destroy you, but it can also shave away at what isn’t you.

It shatters everything but if something survives, it is the purest version of you.

I’m not special. I think one never knows how they will react to trauma until they actually experience it.

But I am lucky to have people close to me for support. I’d like to especially thank Gab and Paul Giamatti.

With that out of the way, I’d like to talk briefly about performance.

====

I know I have promised posts that are ten times better than anything I’ve written here before. I am aware a lot of my older posts are missed, and I will bring some of them back. For example, the ones that I think are the most helpful and salient (like the hannah minx FR).

I will hand-pick them. A lot of them were garbage in my eyes, and a lot of them are not the type that I currently agree with.

Basically, there’s another way.

What I am working on is advanced emotional game. 

If you’ve been doing this as much as I have – as obsessively as I have. You will have a body count. You will rack up sexual experience, which is what we got into the game for in the first place. Either that, or to find a girlfriend.

I am not against either of those motivations. But they are not for me.

Since it is impossible to divulge my exact body count (read: number of women I’ve slept with) without seeming like a total douchebag, I will simply say that it is very high. This number is increasing, and I have a reliable foundation, so sex is automatic. This rules this out as a primary motivation. Although, I keep it up just to hone my skills.

I have a girlfriend. I dislike the word, because it’s based on a societal construct I disagree with. I am in an open relationship with a girl I love, so we are emotionally connected which is necessary for a girlfriend. If you have a girl that you just fuck and do not have an emotional connection or love them, then you don’t have a girlfriend.

One may ask, don’t you get jealous when she sleeps with other people? I answer “no, because I also sleep with many people – many more people.” However, this answer is biased because she only sleeps with other women and I like that.

I am still working on advanced emotional game. It’s something I have been executing on the field, and the goal of that is to build a profound emotional connection. Emotions run deep and they reign supreme over all other character traits, regardless of how superlative they are.

This will be a long-term project, especially because my studies are my priority right now. But what will come soon is a brand new OKCupid primer. 

This is an area of game that I can say with supreme confidence that I have mastered. Like, I said, i do not like to give numbers, but I will simply say that I have had a 100% success rate with every date I have been on from this website for this past year, and they are rarely one-night stands. These are extremely quality girls both physically and intellectually, and I have thoroughly enjoyed my interactions and experiences with every single one of them. I had 2-3 dates/day (which equalizes to 1-2 because of flakes; they are inevitable) during for most of the year, but it is a much lower priority for me right now.

But, I can still teach a lot. I will be doing this in upcoming posts, and I will be including excerpts from actual examples – from initial messages, to texts, to meet up, to date, to lay, and to possibly more (I like the more part).

I have been doing this for so long, I have total recall of the entire process. Of course, they are mostly automated, but I know exactly what i am doing and will describe it all as vividly as possible in the upcoming posts.

I would also like to end my posts with a quote, because there are so many great lesser-known ones that aren’t platitudes. This is Hegel, taking Kierkegaard’s idea further:

“Since we can never hope to understand why we’re here, if there’s even anything to understand, the individual should choose a goal and pursue it wholeheartedly, despite the certainty of death and the meaninglessness of action.” 

October 18, 2013

Girlfriend. Gravity.

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 02:12

I have a girlfriend. I have been seeing her non-exclusively since we first met in August. I like her very much and I like to spend time with  her outside of sex. She knows who I am, and what I do, so she is cool with it. She’ not interested in any other guys, but does want to meet more women (she’s bi), so we’re planning on sarging together for threesomes. Seems like the next logical step, right?

This is still maintenance.

I will write refined guides to meeting women on OKC, and at bars (sarging), along with anyone else that will help good guys get over their fears and meet good woen.

For me right now, I’m still going to maintain the game, but the focus will be on my school, my finances, and other responsibilities I recently have to tend to.

I love my fans and I will still be posting. Every post on this new Invictus will be 10x the quality of those in the past. I’m different now. I’ve ascended.

Stay tuned.

And always, “breathe”. Breathe for everything.

October 17, 2013

Don’t sweat it. Breathe.

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 01:04
Tags: , , , , ,

Gab and I have been coaching a good friend of ours named Paul Giamatti.

This is a great kid. He has his life together. He has a work ethic that has put him through law school, while working full-time to support himself financially. He will always help you when you’re in a legal bind, even if you barely know him (he helped my roommate without asking for anything in return; granted, it was pro-bono work but still.)

Except he has a lot of limiting and self-defeating beliefs.

It doesn’t help that the friend circle he grew up with was a fusion reaction of pure negativity that chopped down every sprouting root of positivity he had. But he was strong…

He was strong enough to come to me about a year ago, and tell me that he was fed up and willing to learn about game.

This was a tremendous step.

Keep in mind, that if you are reading this blog, you probably feel as natural about game as others do in this community. So you may not appreciate the gravity of this.

In truth, “game” is very alienating to people. Most people will just refuse to talk about it. They will either say that they don’t need it, or naively criticize it.

It takes a lot for someone to admit that they are not satisfied with this area of their lives, that being women, and to embark on the tough journey that is improving this area of their lives.

But if they choose to embark on this journey, they are already leagues ahead of everyone else around them. This is because they understand that success with women, and success in general, is a skill-set that you can hone. It is something that you exercise and get better at. It works for everybody at different paces, but it works.

Paul Giamatti’s journey so far has been tough, but he has shown even tougher resolve. He doesn’t give himself enough credit because he is comparing himself to Gab and I, but he is becoming more comfortable using his own judgment as of late and has come so fucking far.

He was a hardcase newbie. No dates. No kiss. No girlfriends. But in one year he managed to consistently come out and sarge with us. He managed to secure roughly 40 dates since he’s started online dating. He’s had a good number of make-outs, and just had his first lay.

All I can say is that he has accelerated at a rate much more than either Gab or I. I’m very proud of him, and see nothing but greater improvement for him in the future.

We were talking about the importance of the first date kiss, and other reductionist moments of a date. Which newbies often focus on. Things like quantifying the number of IOI’s, the kiss, the physicality, etc. But as you keep doing this, as PG did consistently (did I mention he had a good work ethic?), you will be able to automate a lot of the things you used to sweat. As Tyler says, “your sticking points auto-correct.” As you improve in this, like you would in any skill-set, you begin to have a wider perspective on the interaction. As little things become automatized, the “rules” become less stringent and you are free to use your judgment to experiment and discover new ways to make it an enjoyable experience for the both of you.

That’s important. Game is about making it an enjoyable experience for the both of you.

So after you do this for a bit, you are free to use your own judgment. You learn to not sweat it, be present, and to just breathe.

October 7, 2013

Invictus

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 17:42
Tags: , , ,

“You need either a tragedy or a goal so big that it pulls you out of bed.”

These past few days have blurred from the inertia of a traumatic event that happened to someone very dear to me – to someone that I love.

This person is strong and tells me what happened. I don’t push or ask questions, I just listen. She’s able to get a lot out, until she isn’t. Tears at my chest as I hold her. I feel a flood of emotions but keep it controlled. This isn’t for me. I’m there for her. I tell her “I’m here for you, and you have support.”

I decided to reinvent Invictus.

I started projectinvictus.com in November 2011 with a simple vision: “The relentless pursuit of making infinity my bitch.” Just shy of 2 years and a little more than 100 posts later, I am compelled to revisit this vision, sit on it, and write from the source.

Invictus is about one thing and one thing only:

Building value and offering value.

When you do anything in life, and you are wondering “what would Invictus have me do?” Simply ask yourself if what you are doing builds value and if it offers value. If it’s a “yes”, then you have learned something. That’s the most I could hope for, just that this message gets across. If you do this, then Invictus has done what it was meant to do.

My next post will be an updated primer on “game,” and will incorporate new things I’ve learned that will affect you at the core.

For this post, I want to set a requirement for those of you who want to learn true game:

You cherish women.

You are genuinely delighted by women. You celebrate their beauty. You are not afraid to show flashes of honest vulnerability. You have true love and compassion towards women, but have no neediness. You have a purpose in this life beyond her (or anyone, for that matter). You understand, to the core, that all women desire passion, good sex, adventure and love. You are there to make them feel beautiful. It is not your obligation, and it is not something you do to “improve your chances”. You do this because you fucking love it.

You have eradicated all limiting beliefs and mediocrity from your life. You make no excuses for your faults and strive to succeed in spite of them. You have transcended what you and others have thought was possible, and you are not slowing down anytime soon.

August 10, 2013

Sex

Filed under: 2013 — by Invictus @ 05:48
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I invited a girl over at 3AM. She was expecting sex, but I didn’t give it to her.

I am a man. I love sex. Women love sex.

In our society, the man is expected to initiate. The man wants sex, and if he plays his cards right, the woman rewards him by “giving” him sex.

But, women love sex too, don’t they?

I experimented with this last night. I was talking to a very attractive girl I know, and she asked if I wanted to meet. I said “sure”, since I am a night owl and would be up anyway. She came over, and we hung out.

She would at times ask me what I’m thinking about, to which I responded to with honest answers like “I can’t wait to go running tomorrow.” She tells me, without me asking her, that she is thinking about sex. She tells me how horny she feels.

I pull out my iPad and give it to her. I told her she can touch herself in the bathroom.

She stared in disbelief, but then laughed.

We talk some more. Dawn is approaching. We lay down, and she lays down on top of me. We continue to talk. She asks me about gender roles. If I have ever felt pressured to fall into one.

I tell her no. I’m the type of man who regularly listens and sings along to Glee. I wax poetically about my mancrush on Matt Bomer and Henry Cavill. I do things because I want to, I don’t care about the cosmetic labels people try to place on everything.

But then, I realized, I had. That is the basis of game, isn’t it? Or rather, the reason us men get involved in things like game. We are pressured by society to have sex or to have a girlfriend because it defines our worth. A millionaire cardiothoracic surgeon who drives home in his Porsche to find his wife sleeping with the pool guy? This anecdote has nearly become a proverb. Who wins at life? The surgeon, doesn’t he? He has money, status, and fucking saves lives. Wrong. It’s the pool guy. Why?

I don’t know, but he does.

I told her I always initiate because it’s a gender role I, as well as most men, are pressured into.

Men either over-think the kiss and fail to do it, hating themselves for not being “man-enough”. Or they work up the balls to actually kiss her, and possibly get laid, but are drained by the onus of it.

She then initiated and kissed me.

I back away, and move closer to the window for a cigarette. She feels awkward, and apologized for getting so close (she was lying on top of me). I don’t respond.

We continue to talk.

She asks me if I want to have sex with her. I tell her “No.” She asks me why, I simply say “Because I said ‘No.'” 

Girls do it all of the time. Regardless of the reason, “no” means “no”. As a man, you should try it some time. It is empowering in a way you would never have expected it to be.

She said, “I hope we could stay friends.”

When a man usually hears this, it means that they are friend-zoned. Except this time, she was friend-zoned.

I friend-zoned an intelligent, blonde bombshell who was sitting half-naked in bed with me. 

(BTW, I had my clothes on the entire time).

She eventually leaves to go to work at 9AM. I say “good-bye” to her.

She texts me three times later that day. Each over an hour apart, and each without my response.

Guys, how many times did you sleep/talk/have a great date/have a great time with a girl who you texted multiple times who never responded back? How fucking shitty did you feel?

The reality is that they have no obligation to return your texts, but you have no obligation to stop texting – or to stop responding to their texts.

I’ve slept with girls who didn’t respond to my texts for a whole fucking year. I’ve felt intensely shitty when a girl I really liked stop responding to my texts. And here I was, for the first time ever, not responding to a girl’s texts.

A few days later, she sends me a link to her twitter and facebook.

I responded this time. I’m going to see her again, maybe as soon as tomorrow or as late as next week.

I have no obligation to do anything. It is empowering.

I recommend it to all men.

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